What saved my (brief) running career?

Have you ever been to the store and had to buy something embarrassing?  Items I can think of that would be on the list would be tampons, condoms, and any medicine that addresses constipation.  Thankfully, I don't often have to buy embarrassing things at the store, but, it was 100% necessary if I was going to keep my running career going.  The first week I started this quest, I just pictured throwing on some shoes and running my heart out.  Not only did I face the challenge of tar filled lungs that wouldn't let me breathe as I ran those first few miles, but I learned that I would have to face another more painful challenge.  I hadn't considered chafing as a potential problem.  I soon realized that my running career was going to come to a quick end after those first few runs.  It's hard to describe the issue without becoming too graphic, and I've already given more information than you all want or need to know.  Let's just say that I was walking around very carefully for a while.  Truthfully, I was walking around like an old man. There was no way I was going to be running any half-marathons if a mile or two did this to me!

This lead to a very awkward conversation with a family member, who is a runner and was the only person that I could turn to in this sort of crisis.  I'm sure they don't want to be remembered as the person who saved me from chafing, but I will never be able to repay them for their advice!  So, thank you nameless person for your expertise on chafing!  It was this person that told me that Vaseline would save my running career!

Apparently, when you are running, all sorts of body parts start to rub together.  When you add in sweat, it can lead to not so fun results, as I learned.  The other thing to consider is the clothing.  If your clothing is too loose, it can rub and irritate various body parts as well.  The stories about nipple chafing really scare me.  The idea of it makes me shiver and want to start smoking a pack and half a day again! 

I'm not sure what is more embarrassing, acknowledging that I have to use Vaseline before each run or when I had to go to the store and buy an industrial sized tub of it!  To make matters worse, all of the cashiers were either adolescent girls or old women.  I wasn't sure which would be more uncomfortable.  I chose to get in the older woman's line.  I tried to hide the Vaseline between some of the other groceries so it would go unnoticed.  Thankfully, there was no scene.  The woman didn't scream out "Oh my god! What are you going to do with so much Vaseline?!?"  But that's what I pictured happening during those uncomfortable moments in line.  Hopefully, that tub will last me a long time.