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Monday, January 10, 2011

Am I An Idiot?

I've always hated people that say they have no regrets.  It's probably because I have so many (peeing my pants in elementary school and puking on the girl I had a crush on in grade school just to give you two examples).  My biggest regret happened when I was thirteen.  I was upset about something and I decided the best thing to do was to take a few of my mom's cigarettes.  I pedaled my bike down the street to the park and nervously began lighting up one of the cigarettes.  Proving that I am an idiot, I kept trying until I knew that i had inhaled correctly (you know you've inhaled correctly when it feels like fire is running through your throat and lungs).  So, that's how twenty years of smoking started.  A stupid thirteen year old.

Does twenty years of smoking make me an idiot? Yes.  Cigarettes and smoking have caused me a great deal of trouble and pain in my life.  Do you know what makes me a bigger idiot??  I stopped smoking about four months ago, but, there isn't a single day that I don't think about having a cigarette.  With that in mind, I've decided that I need some goal to prevent me from smoking again and to motivate me to not start again (you would think that leading a long, healthy life would be enough motivation, but I've already acknowledged that I'm an idiot). 

So, this lazy, out of shape, 33-year-old, who smoked for twenty years, is now announcing that he will be running a half-marathon in September.  Further proving my idiocy, I will be blogging all the embarrassing details of my attempt.  Why blog about it?  Excellent question! I believe I need the threat of shame and embarrassment to keep me focused on this goal.  So, whether anyone reads this or not...I will know that I have to work towards my goal because I've told my family, friends, and the whole internet that I'm going to do it!

Am I worried about running a half-marathon?? Hell yes!  Running over thirteen miles is not something I ever picture myself doing.  Besides, I'm the sort of person that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.  But that will make this blog interesting right? So, if you see a news article about a runner being attacked by a pack of wild dogs...don't bother reading it, it's me.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

Love it, Mike! Idiot or not, it will be a memorable experience! I've been going back and forth with the running thing too. Never was (much of) a smoker (of cigarettes ), but i have activity induced asthma and refuse to use those nasty inhalers,so,my attempt at running is pathetic at best, and each day that i feel i did a better job than the last (translated: i didn't wind up prone on the sidewalk gasping for air)i tell myself i'm going to sign up for a half-marathon! Good luck buddy!

Mandi said...

Love it, love it!! I look forward to reading about your humorous advenure!!

Katie Welsh Radande said...

Good luck! You will do great :)

Jeannette said...

Love it! Hilarious and honest - the perfect mix. You have earned a faithful reader and sister-in- law cheering you on every step of way.

Will said...

I am looking forward to another scintillating "Answers to Questions Nobody is Asking" blog experience. My first question nobody is asking is: Will you keep up with this blog better than the previous iteration regarding Karen and Merryl’s wedding? But even if your efforts should flag in the blogging, I personally will continue to needle you about the running.

May said...

Go Mike! I will know how this is going by the trail of sunflower seeds you leave around the office (the more seeds, the less smoking is occuring). Good luck!!