What music is good for running?

As I've said before, I find running very boring.  That could be because I've been running on the treadmill instead of outside.  I'll overcome my fear of running outside soon enough.  But until then, I've relied on television and music to keep me from boredom while running on the treadmill.  Unfortunately, I've found myself bored by television recently, so I've mostly been listening to music. Ever since my adolescence, I was a huge music fan.  I mostly listened to anything loud...perhaps part of my rebellious adolescence, but I like to think that I appreciated all types of music.  I couldn't wait for new CD's to come out...even waiting at the record store till Midnight when they would do Midnight Madness CD release specials.  I had hundreds of CD's.  It was great to go to the record store and buy a CD in those ridiculously long and pointless cardboard boxes (which makes me wonder why DVD cases are so big).  The best part of all was taking the music from multiple CD's and putting them on a cassette for a mix tape!  I loved making mixed tapes! 

It leaves me in awe of the technology of Ipods and MP3 players.  I can carry around my entire music collection on a tiny little machine!  Despite the convenience, I still miss making mixed tapes!  Making a playlist for my Ipod is just not as fun.  I have realized that I do need to make playlists though.  The first time I tried to look for a song on my Ipod while running on the treadmill, I almost fell off. 

I do need some help from my readers.  I need suggestions for good songs/playlists/albums.  I need good music to listen to while I run.  I'm open to any style of music.  I'm hoping to eventually put together the perfect motivating playlist, just like the good old days of making mix tapes!  So, help me out by giving me some suggestions of songs that will help me get through my runs.  You can send them to me any way you want.  Comment down below, email, Facebook, text, etc.  But help me out with some good songs!  I already plan to download the song from Rocky...so no need to suggest that one.  Here's a list of the songs I listened to during a recent run.


1. Praise You - Fatboy Slim  - a fun song that I hadn't listened to for a while...funny music video too

2. Rebels of the Sacred Heart - Flogging Molly  - I love Celtic music, I love punk rock...thus making Flogging Molly perfect!

3. Sing the Changes - The Fireman - a good song from some side project of Paul McCartney

4. Shambala - Three Dog Night  -  a very cool song...made me feel like a hippie while I was running

5. Peg o' My Heart - Dropkick Murphy's - another Celtic punk rock song....but this one also had Bruce Springsteen!

6. Streets of Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen - after listening to him the song before, I wanted more of the Boss

7. Skinny Love - Bon Iver - a very cool mellow song

8. Dog Days Are Over - Florence & The Machine - this lady has an amazing voice!

9. Beer - Mustard Plug - a nice high energy song that kept me running

10. Young Forever - Jay-Z - I thought this song was appropriate while running and trying to get in shape

11. Forever Young - Bob Dylan - the Jay-Z song made me want to hear this Bob Dylan song...I prefer the higher tempo version over the slower one...but you can't go wrong with Bob

12. Runaround Sue - Dion and the Belmonts -  one of my all time favorite songs!!

Who will be running with me?

My brother-in-law, Will, is the real reason behind my attempt at a half-marathon.  When looking for a way to stop smoking, he suggested running.  He has been a great support and will be running along with me.  I can't thank him enough for his help.  I asked him to write a "guest blog" the other day and he kindly agreed.  Enjoy!


                                     Guest Blog: Special Delawarathon Edition

I am not a runner, I am a marathoner. I know this sounds obnoxious but bear with me. I am inspired by runners, and jealous of them. For them the run is the end, for me it is the means. I wish that I loved running, that I woke up looking forward to my next run, that I lived for those solitary hours of pounding the pavement, but I don't. I run because I need to do something active for my health and running is cheap and easy. I do it because if I didn't then I would sit at home eating ice cream every night instead. (Now I can at least rationalize the ice cream on nights when I'm not running.)  So for me the marathon is the goal that keeps me focused, keeps me doing the thing I know I should be doing anyway but cannot find the internal motivation to do. This is something Michael and I have in common.  We also have in common that our wives are both expecting. In my case my wife is pregnant with our third. I will be running the Via Half Marathon with my
brother in law, the regular host of this blog, three months after our third is born. I started training for my first marathon shortly after our second child was born, so I know that finding the time to train is possible with kids, even newborn kids. It is not easy, but it is possible.  Yesterday I ran the Delaware Marathon, my third marathon since my second boy was born. I had high aspirations, but largely they fell by the wayside as the
months sped past. Two kids, a houseful of projects, a newborn on the way, winter weather, and a serious tax bill disassembled my training plan.  Still I managed a not too awful 4:00:31 time, two minutes better than my first marathon (unfortunately a full thirty minutes worse than my second). The whole race is in Wilmington, and is really two loops of a half marathon that starts and finishes in the revitalized waterfront district. It was a great run for the first half, but I really had to force myself to run the second half as I ran past my truck at the midway point. That would be my only complaint. It was hillier than Philly (host city for my first two marathons) and 20 degrees hotter and it was raining at the start, but it was well organized, well staffed, and
there were some crowds and people blasting stereos. Being the only road marathon in Delaware, it attracted a lot of "50 Staters," people trying to run a marathon in every state. There were also a lot of relay teams (4 and 8 person teams) the members of which would have crushed my spirit as they blew past me in the later stages of the race had they not been wearing special "Relay" bibs on their backs. I am assuming that is the sole reason for those back bibs, since full marathoners were not wearing them. I don't know that I'll run the full Delawarathon again until they make a full 26.2 mile loop, but I might just run the half next Spring.

What have I learned after close to six months of running?

It's time for another recap of all the things I've learned and general observations since the madness of training for a half marathon/quitting smoking began.

- Running is still boring and it is still amazing to me what my mind will think about while on the treadmill (although if you've read my blog, you probably have a good idea of the stupid stuff i sometimes ponder) I've started listening to more music on the treadmill rather than watch tv.  I could definitely use some good music suggestions so feel free to comment, email, call, text, etc. with any good stuff for me to download

-The confident part of my brain wants me to consider what my pose will be when I cross the finish line.  Will I put my arms up in victory? Should I try and play it cool like it's not my first half-marathon?

-The not so confident part of my brain (also known as the normal part) wonders how much knee replacements cost and why the hell I thought this would be a good idea

-It is really hard to get motivated to run after a really long day.  Although, I didn't really learn this...because I already knew it was going to be hard to get motivated even on a great day!

-Getting ready for this half-marathon is one of the few things that has worked to keep me from starting smoking again.  The sad truth is that if it weren't for this training, I would have started smoking again months ago!

-I really need to make sure to warm up before I start my runs.  When I warm up runs go better, when I don't I feel like crap.  Simple as that!

-I am definitely too self-conscious about running outside and people seeing me look like a dumbass...but I'll have to get over that soon.

-I've learned that blogging is alot of fun for me (and hopefully entertaining for anyone reading it) and that I enjoy trying to figure out how to get new readers.  Also, I obsess over who could be reading my blog from other countries. 

-I've known, but have been reminded, that I have an amazing group of family and friends that I extremely supportive

-I am now running about 4 miles without dying...I still need to get to 13.1 and I'm still nervous that I won't make it

Has anyone ever run a half marathon hung over?

Before Mel Gibson went crazy, he was in the awesome Lethal Weapon movies.  Mel's partner in the movie, Danny Glover, is close to retirement and has to take on Mel as a partner because no one else wants to be partnered with him (we should take a moment to analyze Mel Gibson's craziness.  Was he always a racist, Anti-Semitic, lunatic and he just stopped being good at hiding it? Or, did he become crazy over the course of years?  It is also interesting that in the first Lethal Weapon movie, the climactic scene involves Mel Gibson fighting....Gary Busey!!  For those of you who don't know...Gary Busey has also turned crazy over the years.  So, to recap, two actors that played crazy people in Lethal Weapon are now actually crazy!)   Why bring up Lethal Weapon?  Because I frequently find myself feeling like Danny Glover in the Lethal Weapon movies.  His catch phrase in the movie is "I'm too old for this shit".  Most recently, my Danny Glover moments have involved any attempt at consuming alcohol.  I've never been a big drinker, but it used to be that I could have a few drinks and not have to worry about it the next day.  These days, if I have a few drinks, my head is hurting the whole next day.  Recently, I went to a local brewpub and tried the beer they served with the highest alcohol content.  It's not hard to predict that this lead to a Danny Glover moment the next morning. 

Unfortunately, my ability to recover from drinking may have an impact on my half-marathon attempt.  A few days after registering for the half-marathon, I received a save the date magnet for a wedding in the mail.  You probably already guessed that the wedding is the day before the race.  I'm a fan of going to weddings.  There aren't too many events like that were everyone is celebrating and happy.  I'm definitely excited for this one, because I've known the person for a long time.  I'm just bummed that I won't be able to really "celebrate"!  I don't think it is a good idea for me to have any alcohol the day before the race (I haven't done any official research on the matter...just guessing).  Especially, when you consider the fact that I have become old and far too susceptible to day after drinking grogginess.  Let's just hope I don't get too caught up in the joy of the wedding and decide to try to run the half-marathon with a hangover!

Why are there so many conspiracies?

I don't remember our country having the level of paranoia that we seem to have.  It seems that everyday I'm hearing about something new.  Is Osama Bin Laden dead (yes, praise God!)?  People refuse to believe it without seeing pictures.  Was Obama born in the USA? Donald Trump and all sorts of dumbasses must see a birth certificate because they got a mass email that told them that Obama was lying! Did George Bush plan 9/11? People saw video of the planes and terrorists took credit for the attack yet people still don't believe it. Is that Comcast Xfinity commercial some sort of brainwashing/mind control?? OK, I made that conspiracy up but I think that answer is yes...i can't get the song out of my head...It's fun for you! It's fun for me! Come on everyone blindly spend their money on higher cable bills! 

It used to be that there were two good conspiracies.  Did aliens crash at Roswell and who really killed JFK? Now, it's like people got bored and have to turn everything into a conspiracy.  Our country has some serious trust issues!  I guess I can understand some level of questioning authority and government...but I think we have waded into the territory of ridiculousness.

Our new conspiracy culture has forced me to change my plans regarding running this half marathon.  Originally, I wanted no photo evidence of my attempt to go from heavy smoker to completing a half marathon.  I didn't find it necessary to document my tired, sweaty, pathetic face for all to see.  Unfortunately, I also don't want to be accused of not completing my intended goal!  What if Donald Trump decides to target me??  "Michael Ramsey needs to prove that he completed that half-marathon!" So, I now need to consider how to document my half-marathon training/attempt.     

Do runners shave II?

Blogging has been a cool experience so far.  There is something cool about spewing thoughts and having other people read them.  It's also awesome when people share their thoughts in comments section.  One of most interesting things about having a blog is that I can see how many people have read the blog and how they got here.  Admittedly, most of the people that read my blog get here via my facebook page where I post when I have a new entry.  People can follow the blog or subscribe to get the blog emailed to them, but most clicks come from facebook.  I am happy to say that I do have an international following! So, welcome readers from Canada, Russia, the United Kingdom, Italy, China, Denmark, the United Arab Emirates, Australia, and Finland, who probably accidentally clicked on my blog.  The really interesting part (at least to me) is that many people end up doing a google search to find out if runners shave their bodies and end up at my blog!  It makes me feel somewhat guilty that people are trying to find out actual information and end up reading my rambling blog and the entry I posted earlier about whether I was supposed to shave my body before the half marathon.  It makes me wonder what other phrases I could include in my blog that would get people to end up here.  If I mention "Royal Wedding" will that lead to thousands of clicks on my blog??  If I mention Sarah Palin or Barrack Obama, will that increase my readership??  I'm not sure but to those of you that happen to be looking for accurate information on whether runners shave their bodies, I apologize for not giving you any idea what to do.  I can tell you that when I attempt to run the half marathon in September, I do not intend to shave my body (but i have been considering shaving my head).

What could be worse than trying to run a half-marathon?

It is probably wrong to complain about registering for a baby shower.  But screw it! Attempting to register for a baby shower is practically enough to train me to run this half-marathon.  Let's start with the fun part.  Having a scanner gun and being able to walk around a store and zap things is pretty awesome (it would be more awesome if it were things that I wanted or needed).  The awesomeness of the scanner was quickly replaced by the overwhelming feeling of "What the hell did I get myself into?" which was followed with thoughts like "What's the difference between a receiving blanket and a burping cloth?" and "Why do I need them both?"  

Truthfully, I started to doubt my ability to be a good father as I stood in the store trying to fold up a stroller.  I could not figure it out!  I think we spent over two hours in the store trying to find all the things we needed and that didn't even get us close to being done.  One problem is that once you decide on an item you need, then you have to figure out which one will be the one to chose.  Am I expected to know which diaper receptacle will best prevent my house from smelling like baby poop?  They all look pretty effective in the pictures!  How did Michael Landon on Little House on the Prairie survive without a Diaper Genie??

I can safely say that trying to run a half marathon will be more fun than registering! It also seems that even at my slow pace (I'm still at about a 13 minute mile) it will take longer to register than it will for me to run the half-marathon.

Could this happen to me?

So, here is a link to something that could happen to me while attempting to run the half-marathon

http://deadspin.com/#!5793292/the-poopiness-of-the-long-distance-runner

This could be my worst fear!  I'm not really concerned with my finish time, so, I'd like to think that I could find a bathroom somewhere along the way.  But, I guess if you have to go, you have to go!

Is the Universe against me?

People didn't believe me when I compared myself to Job from the Bible in a previous blog.  Let's just say that when your washer has smoke pouring out of it, your car gets rear ended, and ants are attacking your kitchen, you start to wonder what you did to piss the Universe off.  I'm starting to wonder what else could go wrong!  I had plenty of time to ponder why the Universe hates me while I did my laundry at the laundromat this afternoon.  However, that's not what I found myself thinking about.  The truth is that when I find myself facing stressful events or worried about something, I always start to think of my parents.  Moments of stress or worry make me miss them terribly.  It's those times that I long to hear them tell me "Michael, it will all be ok".  On the long list of things that I miss about my parents, it may be their ability to comfort me that I miss the most.  There is no feeling quite like having your parents there to tell you that things will work out.  While thinking about them can cause me alot of pain, it also brings me back to reality.  They both endured more physical and emotional pain than I can imagine.  Throughout all of that, they thought more about their family then themselves.  As my father battled cancer, he worked hard to guarantee that his wife and children would be secure after he was gone.  When my mother faced the same battle, her thoughts went to making sure her children did not worry about her.  When I remind myself of these things, it snaps me back to the reality that complaining about a washer being broken or my car getting run into is silly in comparison.     

How does this impact my half-marathon training?  Well, it was hard to run while I had a concussion from the car accident.  And the feeling of the Universe being against me has not helped my motivation to train excessively hard.  As of today, I only have 176 days until the half-marathon.  I'm quickly running out of time!  So, I need to get myself out of this funk and get to work.  I'm certain that thinking about my parents and their ability to face challenges will help motivate me. 

A final update before I end this particularly depressing blog post.  I am able to run about 3 miles without feeling like I'm going to die.  I'm hoping that it will continue to get warmer over the next few weeks so that I can start to run outside.  If you live in the Lehigh Valley and see me jogging around Bethlehem, don't be afraid to honk and wave!     

How can I avoid looking like a dumbass when I run outside?

I am so happy that it is starting to feel like spring.  Baseball has started (go Phils!), you can see grass instead of snow, and the days are starting to get longer.  My back couldn't take much more shoveling of snow.  Unfortunately, the warmer weather means that I have no excuse for running inside on my treadmill.  Which leads me to my fear that I am going to look like an idiot when I'm running.  It is hard enough for me to avoid looking like a dumbass on a normal day! How am I going to avoid it as I try to run a few miles??  The way I see it, there are several factors involved.

1. Clothing - The right or wrong clothing can make or break my looking like an idiot.  I just recently got some Nike gear (thanks Jeannette!) that I think will help.  But, I've seen runners wearing those tight shirts and shorts that make their nipples/private parts pop out.  Anything that has any body part of mine protruding out, I desperately need to avoid!  Also included in this category are the people that run with no shirts.  I've had the unfortunately pleasure to see some pretty hairy guys running around.  Not a good look!

2.  Sweat - It is hard to look cool when you are running and sweat is pouring off of you.  Also, giant sweat marks on your shirt (that i will definitely have!) don't help in the cool department.

3. Looking tired/Getting sick/Having to stop -  I'm lumping these together and they are all strong possibilities for me.  When I see people running around town, they never look tired!  Most of them are trucking along with their earbud headphones looking pretty cool (As a side note, is there something wrong with my ears that I can not get those earbud headphones to stay in? I've seen the Itunes commercials with the people dancing around with the earbuds in...how the hell do they do that?!? If I take one step or breath the earbud pops out of my ear.  And then, when I get the one earbud back in, the one in the other ear pops out! Very frustrating.)  I will definitely look tired, may get sick, and may have to stop and walk at certain points in my run.  I don't think there is anyway around these issues, although, I do think that I can stop and pretend to be checking my pulse like some people do if I need a break. 

If anyone has any suggestions on these issues, let me know.  I may start my "outside" running in the next few weeks.  So, cross your fingers that I don't get too embarassed and give up on the half-marathon!

Am I having a son or daughter? Also, where have I been all this time?

Sports movies are pretty cliche and predictable.  Regardless, I love a good sports movie.  Almost all of them have a moment where the person or team faces a huge obstacle preventing them from their goal.  In Rocky III, Mick dies and Rocky doesn't know if he can fight anymore.  In The Natural, Roy Hobbs dates a blond woman...which everyone knows throws off a baseball player's swing and puts them him in a huge slump.  In Remember the Titans, white people hate black people and black people hate white people....and then a guy gets paralyzed!!  The examples could be endless.  Why do I bring this up? Because if a movie would be made about my attempt to run a half-marathon, we would be at the section where it would look like i wasn't going to make it.  This is the moment when it seems all hope is lost and the person or team is destined to fail.  Not so interestingly, the challenges that have got me to this point are relatively mild.  They include: my feet hurting due to the wrong running shoes, a severe sinus infection, a trip to Atlantic City, and pure laziness.  I'm sure when the movie of my adventure in running is made, the director can come up with a more inspiring reason for my downturn (perhaps my sinus infection can be embellished into pneumonia). 

So, I hadn't run for a month.  I knew that I was slacking.  I knew that I just needed to get back on the treadmill and start running.  I was waiting for the inspirational speech that is the best part of sports movies!  This is when a friend, family member, coach, etc. gives some inspirational speech to get the person motivated again.  I would like to say that someone inspired me to get on the treadmill and that it looked like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz6oxIlmw_M

But that's not what happened.  The truth is that my wife asking me when I was going to start running again a few times made me feel guilty.  She did it perfectly.  We were just sitting on the couch (I may or may not have just eaten a cheese steak and been looking especially out of shape) and she randomly said "When are you going to start running again?"  So, it wasn't like Rocky and Adrian on the beach...but it was just what I needed.  I got on the treadmill yesterday and I'm happy to report that I ran with no pain.  I didn't run much.  But I'm going to try to build up to the 13.1 miles slowly this time.  I can hear Eye of the Tiger playing in the background already!!

So, I made you read through this entire post to learn that I am going to be having a baby girl!  The doctor already says that she looks like a genius!  The tricky part is coming up with a name...so, if you have any suggestions comment, email, call, or text me.  I need ideas!!

What are my two big announcements??

I have two big announcements.  The first is that I can now announce where and when I will be running my half-marathon (assuming my training goes as planned).  The marathon is run by the Lehigh Valley Health Network.  It seems that the marathon supports an organization called Via.  Here is a brief description of Via from their website "Via of the Lehigh Valley is a non-profit human service agency that provides services for children and adults with disabilities like autism, cerebral palsy, Down syndrome."  Sounds like a good cause!  The event takes place on September 11, 2011.  Here is a link to the marathon's website.  http://www.vianet.org/events/marathon/index.shtml

Based on the information on the website I have a few quick thoughts.

-The full marathon starts at Lehigh Valley Hospital in Salisbury Township and ends in Easton, two towns over.  I find it amusing that I started this journey as a way to avoid health concerns and avoid going to the doctor and the marathon involves running away from a hospital!

-The website says that they expect people to keep up with a 14-minute mile pace, as they close the course down.  I hope that I can keep up with that pace!  I wonder what they do if someone isn't able to run that fast.  Do they start yelling people for running too slow?

-Are marathons usually one straight run from one place to another?  It seems that it would be much easier if it was a big circle that took you back to your car.  Am I going to have to get on a shuttle bus with a bunch of smelly runners?

-It takes place on a Sunday.  Will I need to take that Monday off?

So, I said that I had TWO announcements.  What's the other? I am proud to announce that my wife is pregnant!  Obviously, this provides me with further motivation to get healthy, not return to smoking, and keep training for the half-marathon!  If all goes according to schedule, our child will be about a month old at the time of my run!  I'm certain that there will be plenty of interesting blogs to come as I get closer to fatherhood!  

Why do I never listen to people?

I should have predicted this.  It was silly of me not to have understood this right from the start.  The title to my first blog says it all and I missed it!  The biggest obstacle to me training and completing a half marathon is not my black, tar filled, smoker lungs.  It's my own stupidity!    Let me explain.  I hate shopping.  When it comes to going shopping for things, I always look to get in and out of the store quickly.  So, when I went to buy my new running shoes, I was looking to make it a quick trip.  I knew the brand that I wanted and was hoping to just find a reasonably priced pair.  My desire to take care of this quickly provides further evidence that I'm a dumbass. 
                 
                   By the way, the more I write this blog, the
                   more I feel like I should change the
                   name to "Evidence of Michael's Stupidity"
                   or something along those lines.

So, I went to one store, found a nice pair of running shoes, tried on the right foot, took a few steps, looked at the price, and said "I'll take them!"  I was done and off to enjoy the rest of my day.  Why is this a problem? It turns out that as I've tried to get back to running, the shoes have been hurting my feet!  Why didn't I listen to all the people that told me to go to a specialty store, talk to someone, let them help me find out the right pair of shoes for me.  Instead, I decided to take the easy path.  I'm sure I bought a pair that is made for people that have a certain type of arch to their foot or run a certain way that doesn't fit my style. 

So, the progress of my training has really hit a wall.  I've only been able to get up to running about a mile and a half.  Once I hit that point, the arch to my foot starts to hurt and I have to stop.  I will have to finally listen to the smart people who recommended talking to someone about the type of shoes to buy.

The bigger issue is, how do I prevent my dumbassedness from getting in the way of my goal? 

Was my return to running a failure?

There is good news and bad news about my return to running ATQNIA fans (yes, I'm trying out an acronym for my blog...didn't feel right, but i had to give it a shot).  So, if you have read this far you know that I stopped my training for the half-marathon because I was feeling some pain.  It didn't feel right and the wisdom of the internet told me it might be a stress fracture.  Well, the good news is that I don't have stress fracture.  I did a two mile run on Sunday and did not experience any pain in my shins.  Did the two weeks off help?  Probably...I've been pretty motivated regarding my training and probably over did it.  (I just re-read that sentence and can not believe that I would be highly motivated for anything!)  I also think that buying new running shoes helped. The internet, ok...and my wife both said that you should not run on worn out sneakers.  Well, the running shoes that I was wearing were about 2.5 years old.  The were great Nike sneakers and I wore them all the time.  I guess I was trying to avoid spending the money on new ones for as long as I could.  Thankfully, I have a brand new pair of Nike Air Max Moto+ 8's and got them for a decent price.  I guess I should listen to the internet (and my wife) more often.

Did I feel as if I could run faster like when I was younger and got a new pair of sneakers?? Unfortnately not, which brings us to the bad news.  Taking two weeks off really set me back!  It was a challenge to run those two miles.  Adding to my discouragement is the fact that I do need to try to pace myself with the training so I don't get injured.  I felt like I was making good progress.  I guess I will have to start from the beginning.

On a more positive note, as I was trying to suffer through the two miles, I realized that my training and eventual attempt at a half-marathon needs a slogan.  Something funny...witty....and something that could fit on a t-shirt.  I'm going to devote some brainpower to the idea...but if anyone has any ideas send them my way!  

What did two weeks off from running do to me? Will I survive my first run?

In order to prevent further injury, I took the past two weeks off from running.  It was hard to do, but I was worried that I had a stress fracture.  If I do have a stress fracture, that could cause serious problems in my plan to run the half marathon in September.  They recommend a bunch of rest to allow time for stress fractures to heal.  So, during my rest, what happened?  A few things.  I gained back about 4.5 of the 7.5 pounds that I had lost.  I ate alot of junk during my time off (by the way, if anyone has any easy, healthy recipes send me an email!).  Obviously, regaining the weight made the beginning of my two pack disappear. 
On the positive side, I still have not had a cigarette.

I am about to go do my first run in two weeks.  I think I'll try to do two miles.  I'm a little nervous about the test run.  If I still have pain in my shin, it could mean that I have to take more time off.  It could also force me to actually go to the doctor.  That is the last thing that I want!  I'll post the results of my run in a bit!  Cross your fingers!!!     

How are stress fractures similar to the legalization of marijuana?

In my work, many adolescents tell me that marijuana should be legalized and the drinking age should be lowered.  They are stocked with all sorts of arguments supporting their opinion, some good, some not so good.  They tell me, "Mike, if I can join the army and die for my country, why can't I have a beer when I'm 18?"  Or, "Mike, this Internet study found that marijuana has more Vitamin D than a glass of milk!"  The argument that I never gave much credit to was the idea that when you tell someone they can't do something, it makes them want to do it even more.  I'm starting to think their might be some truth in that.  Let me explain.

I was running on Monday night.  Just trying to do a quick run, probably 2-3 miles.  About half a mile in, I started to feel some pain in my shin.  I had experienced some pain in that area during other runs.  In the past, it eventually went away as I got warmed up.  But this pain wasn't going away and the run just didn't feel right.  So, after a mile, I stopped and started looking for answers on the Internet.
                    
                I should pause this story and tell you that I am the
                last person that should be looking up any medical
                information on the Internet.  I can easily convince
                myself that I have anything if I read about it online. 
                Watch...I have a cough, a cough is a symptom of
                malaria. Oh my God! Do I have malaria?! See how
                easy that is!

Based on what I found online, there could be several explanations for the pain I experienced.  Shin splints (or tibial stress syndrome) can be the result of several things.  Irritated muscles (caused by overuse or increasing a workout before you are ready), flat feet (the impact of your step leads to stretching and pulling of muscles), or stress fractures (tiny breaks in the bones) can all lead to the pain I'm having.  The suggested treatment for these issues is rest.  So, that's what I've done (I'm going to give running a try in few days...I'll let you know how it goes).

Rest shouldn't be a problem right?  After all, I am an expert at sitting on my couch watching TV. I excelled at being lazy for years!  But for some reason, it has been very difficult for me not to run this week.  I found myself dying to get on the treadmill.  Maybe it's concern that this setback will prevent me from reaching my goal.  (which is true...I am very worried about what this may due to my schedule of training) Or maybe it's just knowing that I can't run right now!  My brain knows that if I try to run, I could hurt myself worse...but a huge part of me just wants to get on that treadmill anyway.  It's just like an adolescent who knows drugs are bad for them but they want to try them anyway!! 

Does this mean that I am now in favor of the legalization of marijuana and other drugs? Am I going to take my arguments to Washington and become a lobbyist in favor of lowering the drinking age?  Do I really think that legalizing drugs will make kids less likely to try them?  No, of course not. And there are many other excellent reasons for not legalizing drugs or lowering the drinking age.   However, this setback has helped me understand that sometimes when people are told they can't do something, it makes the urge to do it stronger.  That knowledge will help me make sure I complete my goal of running a half-marathon.  Doubters be damned! 

By the way, I do think it's funny that if I was in California, I could probably convince a doctor to give me a prescription for marijuana to treat my shin splints.  Runners in California have it so easy!

What saved my (brief) running career?

Have you ever been to the store and had to buy something embarrassing?  Items I can think of that would be on the list would be tampons, condoms, and any medicine that addresses constipation.  Thankfully, I don't often have to buy embarrassing things at the store, but, it was 100% necessary if I was going to keep my running career going.  The first week I started this quest, I just pictured throwing on some shoes and running my heart out.  Not only did I face the challenge of tar filled lungs that wouldn't let me breathe as I ran those first few miles, but I learned that I would have to face another more painful challenge.  I hadn't considered chafing as a potential problem.  I soon realized that my running career was going to come to a quick end after those first few runs.  It's hard to describe the issue without becoming too graphic, and I've already given more information than you all want or need to know.  Let's just say that I was walking around very carefully for a while.  Truthfully, I was walking around like an old man. There was no way I was going to be running any half-marathons if a mile or two did this to me!

This lead to a very awkward conversation with a family member, who is a runner and was the only person that I could turn to in this sort of crisis.  I'm sure they don't want to be remembered as the person who saved me from chafing, but I will never be able to repay them for their advice!  So, thank you nameless person for your expertise on chafing!  It was this person that told me that Vaseline would save my running career!

Apparently, when you are running, all sorts of body parts start to rub together.  When you add in sweat, it can lead to not so fun results, as I learned.  The other thing to consider is the clothing.  If your clothing is too loose, it can rub and irritate various body parts as well.  The stories about nipple chafing really scare me.  The idea of it makes me shiver and want to start smoking a pack and half a day again! 

I'm not sure what is more embarrassing, acknowledging that I have to use Vaseline before each run or when I had to go to the store and buy an industrial sized tub of it!  To make matters worse, all of the cashiers were either adolescent girls or old women.  I wasn't sure which would be more uncomfortable.  I chose to get in the older woman's line.  I tried to hide the Vaseline between some of the other groceries so it would go unnoticed.  Thankfully, there was no scene.  The woman didn't scream out "Oh my god! What are you going to do with so much Vaseline?!?"  But that's what I pictured happening during those uncomfortable moments in line.  Hopefully, that tub will last me a long time.    

Do runners shave??

I have always been a pessimist.  A worst-case scenario type of guy.  I could always relate to Charlie Brown when Lucy would pull the football away just as he was about to kick it.  I feel a special connection to Job from the Bible (who I've heard was also training to run a half-marathon back in his day).  Some of the events of my life don't help me with this way of thinking.  Being surrounded by police cars and accused of robbing a bank and being punched then robbed while working as a cashier are the sort of things that lead you to always be prepared for the worst-case scenario.  I'm bringing this up because I need to be more positive.  I noticed this especially after my last post.  It was filled with complaints!  So, here is a brief list of positive things about my training thus far.
1. I ran 5 miles today!  Actually, it was 5.5 but the first .5 I walked to get warmed up.  I did the 5.5 miles in 68:21.  Pretty sure that's a slow time, but I'm happy with it for now.  Several months ago, as I was sucking down a pack and half of Camel lights a day, who would have pictured me running 5 miles??
2.  I have lost 5 pounds and my wife told me that i have the beginnings of a two-pack.  I'm pretty sure I'll never have a six pack...but I'm a modest guy, I'll take a two pack!
3.  I still have not had a cigarette.  That's also very impressive, seeing that I love to smoke!  Yes, I still miss it, but we are remaining positive.  No smoke has entered my lungs in quite a while!

That's all the positivity I've got for right now...but I'll be working on being less Job/Charlie Brown/ Debbie Downerish over the course of my training. 

One last topic before I wrap up.  I've heard that swimmers shave their whole bodies.  I wonder if runners do the same thing.  Would there be some kind of benefit?  I guess if you were really hairy, shaving might make you lighter and able to run faster.  As I've tried to research information about running at websites like Runner's World, I don't recall them showing pictures of really hairy guys jogging.    I'm not quite sure that I'm prepared to shave or wax if it's a runner thing.  Although, one part of my brain tells me that would make a really interesting blog post!  So, if someone knows if runners shave their whole bodies...let me know why they would do such a thing (to be honest, I'm kind of scared that there is some very logical reason which would force me to consider doing it).

What have I learned after a month of running?

So, my first run was a little over a month ago.  Here are a few things I've learned so far.

1. Running is boring!  This is especially true when running on a treadmill.  It's no wonder all those gyms have televisions in front of the treadmills.  Truly amazing what your brain starts to think when there is nothing to do but run.

2.  When my body hurts from running, I really start to understand that I'm getting old.  I try to do one long run every Sunday.  It has led to some sore Mondays!  Aside from the gray hairs that I've started to discover, nothing is making me feel older than limping around for a day after a long run. 

3.  When someone tells you that excercising makes you feel like you have more energy, don't listen...they are lying! 

4.  Getting the proper equipment is important.  I always used to laugh at joggers and runners in their outfits(most of which look ugly/ridiculous in my mind...somebody show me some cool looking running stuff.  I haven't found it yet).  It didn't take me long to understand how important those clothes can be.  I'll have to expand upon this in a future blog because it's too embarassing/funny not to write about, but needless to say, I will have to get some of the appropriate equipment! (I've also learned that companies can make any hobby expensive.  The shoes/clothes/equipment you need to run gets expensive!)

5.  Running has helped me lose weight.  I've lost about 3-4lbs so far.  Doesn't seem like that much but when you consider that I haven't changed anything about the way I eat, then it is kind of amazing.  Especially when you understand that I do not eat very healty at all.  (As a side note, can we all agree that Chick-fil-A is the best fast food restaurant?  The chicken nuggets/waffle fries are the best thing around.  Just the right ratio of chicken and grease).  Anything that allows me to eat unhealthy and still lose weight, I have to continue.

6.  Finally, I've learned that it may take a miracle for me to be ready to run 13.1 miles.  But I won't stop trying.  I'm impressed with the fact that at this point, I can jog a little over 2 miles without getting completely winded.  That's pretty good for someone whose lungs are still recovering from years of smoking!   But 2 miles is a long way from 13.1. 

Should I Be Worried About My Health?

Practically every website I've visited about training for a half-marathon has made some mention of consulting a doctor before beginning any training program.  Good advice right? Will I be consulting a doctor? No way.  I recognize the risk of serious injury in attempting to go from couch potato to half-marathon runner.  The truth is I'm afraid of doctors.  I always expect them to give me bad news.  Maybe it's because of my family history, maybe it's paranoia, maybe it's my Charlie Brown style attitude, or maybe I shouldn't have watched ER for all those years.  Regardless, I'm not prepared for the doctor to tell me that my years of smoking have led to Emphysema or COPD.  I don't want the anxiety of waiting for a doctor to give me the results of a test or x-ray.  Maybe you are starting to see more of my motivation for trying to run this half-marathon.  My fears about my health and my reluctance to consult doctors has left me with a dilema and questions nobody is asking. Can I prove to myself that I'm healthy without going to a doctor? How many miles do I have to run to prove to my paranoid brain that I don't have Emphysema? Hopefully, the answer is 13.1 miles! 

I've tried to include a picture of my current training setup.  I hope you can see it (notice the wood paneling? I find it oddly comforting as I run).  Currently, I enjoy running on the treadmill because it's cold outside and I'm not quite prepared to look like Forrest Gump to the whole world.   Due to oddly shaped rooms in this house my treadmill is on the second floor, with the end lined right up with the wall and a window.  I want you to take a moment, take a look at the picture, and imagine me running on the treadmill, getting a cramp, and being launched into the wall or possibly out the window! Or, picture me running my heart out, when suddenly the floor collapses and I end up falling through the floor.  Very real possibilities for someone who is prone to have unexpected things happen to him!

I'd like to thank all of you that took the time to comment, email, call, etc. voicing your support (or doubts!).  I will need that sort of encouragement to get to my goal!  Soon, I'll post my progress to this point and the challenges I'm already facing!

Am I An Idiot?

I've always hated people that say they have no regrets.  It's probably because I have so many (peeing my pants in elementary school and puking on the girl I had a crush on in grade school just to give you two examples).  My biggest regret happened when I was thirteen.  I was upset about something and I decided the best thing to do was to take a few of my mom's cigarettes.  I pedaled my bike down the street to the park and nervously began lighting up one of the cigarettes.  Proving that I am an idiot, I kept trying until I knew that i had inhaled correctly (you know you've inhaled correctly when it feels like fire is running through your throat and lungs).  So, that's how twenty years of smoking started.  A stupid thirteen year old.

Does twenty years of smoking make me an idiot? Yes.  Cigarettes and smoking have caused me a great deal of trouble and pain in my life.  Do you know what makes me a bigger idiot??  I stopped smoking about four months ago, but, there isn't a single day that I don't think about having a cigarette.  With that in mind, I've decided that I need some goal to prevent me from smoking again and to motivate me to not start again (you would think that leading a long, healthy life would be enough motivation, but I've already acknowledged that I'm an idiot). 

So, this lazy, out of shape, 33-year-old, who smoked for twenty years, is now announcing that he will be running a half-marathon in September.  Further proving my idiocy, I will be blogging all the embarrassing details of my attempt.  Why blog about it?  Excellent question! I believe I need the threat of shame and embarrassment to keep me focused on this goal.  So, whether anyone reads this or not...I will know that I have to work towards my goal because I've told my family, friends, and the whole internet that I'm going to do it!

Am I worried about running a half-marathon?? Hell yes!  Running over thirteen miles is not something I ever picture myself doing.  Besides, I'm the sort of person that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong.  But that will make this blog interesting right? So, if you see a news article about a runner being attacked by a pack of wild dogs...don't bother reading it, it's me.